Written on Aug 26th, 2008...

This is it.

I will have many fond memories of my fleeting moments in this place.  There are many things that will be fondly remembered, and many people whom I will deeply miss.

The shopping trips.  Hilarious gossips over dinner.  Shorts&slippers.  My favourite fried rice across the road.  Heaps of minced pork and liver in my kuey tiaw soup.  Friday lunches at KFC.  Late night weight-gain sessions.

My wonderful friends.  They have always been there to pick me up when I am down, offer me nutty advice when I am totally out of my head, accompany me in retail therapy sessions, cheer me up with useless but entertaining gossips (its like having a human news channel you know), spam my email, eat McDonalds with me, and a whole lotta other stuff that makes me love them for who they are.

I shall miss them HEAPS indeed.

Like the famous quote that goes "Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life."  I like to think of them as more like M&Ms in my McFlurry. :)

I am excited.  I am anxious.  Sometimes I think I might even be afraid.  But whatever the feelings are, there is no turning back from now, the road lies straight ahead and I am going to journey it just as I have journeyed this.

I bid you adieu, my friends.

With Love.

what he said was almost eons ago and my memory has fazed since, but what i had remembered from a fraction of my scattered memory was that he said, “an exit is just a beginning to something else.“ not in his exact words the way i remembered it, nevertheless somewhat in the same feeling except this time i'd say it was much more intense. i've done the worst thing a nomad could do: fall in love with one place. i am indeed an emotional wreck when it comes to goodbyes, but life must move on and so must i. thanks for the memories, those i shall cherish in my heart.

'we are a restaurant, not a banquet' so said a g cafe staff when asked if he could put together tables for 16 persons. im sure any restaurant wouldn't mind joining tables together for large groups of customers if they had space to spare. i mean why not? after all we are the ones parting with our money aren't we? not a very pleasant first impression with this so-called RESTAURANT to begin with. i bet the food sucks too.

I seldom shop at Padini because their clothes never seem to fit me especially their pants and skirts.  So, *surprise surprise* when I found this...




The August Mega Sales never fails to give you a pretty damn good excuse to shop.  even though you are broke for the month.

Like my friend always say, "Not buying it is like committing an unforgivable crime against yourself."

HAHAHAHA

On another note, I got a really short haircut today which my hairdresser thought was pretty brilliant because it is cute and easygoing, but in fact I think it looks rather much like Rihanna's 'umbrella' haircut.  I still miss the first haircut she gave me, the one I could just go to bed in and get up the next morning without combing my hair (you know, lazy people like me), unfortunately she's long forgotten what that haircut was like... :(

I realized I've spent less time blogging these days because I tend to spend more time with the people around me.

Which is a good thing, I suppose.  I spent the entire weekend bonding with my mom's side of the family, meeting up with cousins and all, and I realized how little time is spent getting to know them or renewing bonds that have been left to thin for the past 10 years.  I met my favourite little cousin Andrew and boy how much he has grown from that fair little toddler I loved to play with to that tall dark and handsome seventeen-year-old I could hardly recognize.  We have this annual family reunion thing that started rolling since last year where everyone flies in from everywhere and all over the globe just to meet up and bond for that one weekend, and this is the second though I wished they could've started it much sooner than wait till now when all the kids are all grown up (ok maybe not all).

So yeah, it was a really short weekend and it felt so fast I could hardly catch up (huh what? what just happened?), but I had fun and it was awesome.  I'm really craving for some hot piping doughnuts and some fresh coffee right now (real coffee that is, not the crappy nescafe ones they have in the office canteen!).  Which reminds me, I think I would actually miss this place in a couple of weeks' time and till then I gotta treasure my final moments and cherish the memories.

I guess it really does apply to me: you don't know what you've got till it's gone.  And it's even in a song.

Sometimes I think I should cut down even more on time spent on blogging so I could get more sleep, and with more sleep I could do more things in one day.  Yep, that would be a good idea indeed.

Is there really any difference between using a cheap moisturizer and an expensive one?

Here is my own personal experience with 2 different brands of moisturizers.  Simple Shine Manager and Cellnique Intensive Aqua Gel.


Both moisturizers are water-based, which is good for me because I have very oily skin (due to over-consumption of pork and fried things, evil me!).

The verdict?  They both feel just about the same. :)  Same light texture, same smoothness, same smell, almost the same effect...

If you ask me, I would actually prefer Simple because after applying it, my skin becomes less oily than usual.  When using Cellnique's Intensive Aqua Gel, my skin is still oily like a well-oiled frying pan.  If you'd bother to read the packaging, Simple Shine Manager aims to absorb excess oil while moisturizing, on the other hand Cellnique Intensive Aqua Gel aims to retain and bind moisture in the skin.

So yeah, it really depends on what you are looking for (or whether you feel like splurging or stealing :D).  I like to use Simple for the day and Cellnique at night :)

Btw, this is not an ad... just some random bimbo post :)

I met a little stray puppy today on my way back to my apartment, it was really small and young and hesitated at first when I held my hand out to him.  He eventually warmed up to me and we played around for a while before I decided to go upstairs.  It was almost 2AM and I didn't want to sit around in the dark.  I turned to leave, and the little puppy whimpered and cried out pitifully.  It broke my heart to hear those heartbreaking cries, so I went back and played with it some more.  But I had to go, and I heard the puppy cry as I went back up the stairs.  I looked back and saw it trying so hard to clamber up the stairs to follow me but it was too small to pull itself up the steps.

I had tamed it, and now it was sad that I had to leave. :(  If I hadn't stop to play with it, I would've just been a human to him like a hundred thousand other humans, and my departure wouldn't have meant anything to him at all and he wouldn't have cried.

"He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world." - The Little Prince

If you have read The Little Prince, you would know that the little prince had tamed the fox, and made him his friend, and they therefore became unique to each other.  But when the time came for the little prince to depart, the fox said that he was going to cry - because the little prince had become important to him, and the fox was sad that he was going to leave.

I don't know if you would understand what I am saying here.  I should have refrained from playing with the puppy to prevent it from heartbreak after I had tamed it but had to leave it there?

As the fox had said to the little prince, and I quote "You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."  I think it's quite true.  Never tame a creature if you are not going to keep it with you forever.  You will break its heart.

I am so bloody pissed.  So many things that make my blood boil right now and my nerves want to just burst into a splatter of red.

Anger is such an amazing emotion.  It makes me do crazy things and say unimaginable things.  It is unbelievable how one emotion can transform a person so much in such an awful manner.  Most often when I am so consumed by my anger, I tend to lose all rationality and my judgement goes awry.  My mind becomes an uncontrollable center of red, dispatching actions and words that often pass through unprocessed.  I will drive like a mad person, like the fast and the furious.  I crank up the music real loud, if there is any.  I turn into a total beast consumed with wrath and possessed by anger, with that single emotion painted in red.

I'd punch them idiots if I could.  I'd punch them right down the middle of their haughty noses.  I'd kick them in the balls until they scream and yell to the other side of the earth.  I'd grab a bowl of hot porridge, dump it onto the front of their shirts, and smear it over that clean shirt (that would've been not so clean by now) and scream "TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!".  And continue smearing the porridge all over until that nice, crisp white shirt is totally ruined.  I could replace that hot bowl of porridge with a cone of triple chocolate ice cream as well, depending on my mood and the severity of my fury.

I am angry.  I am boiling all over with fury.  I am sick and fed up with those bloody dickheads whose IQ level matches that of a fly, perhaps lower.  I hate them dimwitted asswipes who act as though they know everything.  I hate people who expect you to clean up their shit, and while you do it, they poop on your head.  I hate those who go all the way out to step over your head, just to kiss somebody's ass up there.  Go ahead and do yer thang, be an asswipe and go kiss somebody's ass as you like, but there is no need to clamber over and step on other people's heads on the way?  I fucking hate people who have no initiative to go and find things out themselves, and expect to be spoonfed and told many, no I mean, SEVERAL times over and over again about the same thing yet never, NEVER learn.  I admit that I am a bloody impatient person, and sometimes all it takes is... a little push.

And when that little push finally comes one day, I am no longer going to be that nice, sweet innocent person people think I am.  I am no longer going to be all smiles, taking in all that shit and never saying a word.  Like what the Joker said, and I quote "all it takes is a little...push".

Till that day comes, I will contain my anger.  I will mask it inside with a broad smile (or a fake grin).  I will complain about it, perhaps, sleep it over, and then forget the next day.  I will do all these, and my anger will be vanquished.  But for now, I will be content with just me, my loud music, and my crazy driving.  For now, I just wanna be left alone, away from all the dimwits and asswipes and all the freakin bloody idiots in the world.

What do you do when you are angry?

Some important weight-loss & workout tips from next month's issue of Cleo:

• Use music as motivation
• Up the protein (up the pork, less rice? ooowkayyy...)
  
• Trick your body into exercise
• Stay hydrated
• Funk up your workout - go for hip hop!
• Cut down on alcohol (!!!!)
• Kick the carb
• DIY training

Now, where is the damn exercise ball and yoga mat??

On a completely different note, here is a nice website with tonnes of yummilicious recipes: recipefinder.  They have all kinds of recipes and I even came across Malaysian fried noodle in the Quick section.  Fancy that!

My no.1 favourite chef in the world:


Image from www.celebchefs.net

Check out his recipes: JamieOliver.com

:):):):):):)))))))

Do you believe that some opportunities come only once in a lifetime?  Opportunities that will never, ever cross your path again?  Many times I have pondered upon the many opportunities that I have come across in life, opportunities that were only meant to come once and only once, opportunities which I have regretted not taking hold of and seizing the moment in time.

I have many regrets in life.  Regret letting opportunities pass me by are one of them.  Regret believing in false promises, masked lies and snakey words is another.  Sometimes I get so angry and disappointed with my ownself for making these stupid mistakes.  How would my life be if I had seized that moment in time, and taken hold of that golden opportunity that would probably be my ultimate chance in a lifetime?  How would it have been if I had taken the other road?  Sometimes I wonder.  Would I have been happier and more successful than now?  Probably.

A long time ago, I've had to choose between 2 roads.  The first was one that was long and winding, mostly uphill, one with many decisions to make in between, but was full of wise people and wise advice, one that was uncertain yet hopeful.  The second was one that seemed to be the easier path, wide, full of promises and even more promises, sweet words, shortcuts.  I chose the latter.  Eventually these promises and sweet words turned into lies, lies and only lies.  Empty promises, snakey lies, pure deception.  I had chosen the road to destruction and indeed I have.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side.  How would we know if we've never been to the other side, let alone seen it?  We wouldn't, unless we try it ourselves.  Yet sometimes, once we've chosen the other road, we can never turn back and choose another.  While God may allow U-turns, life most often does not.

I can never go back to the first road no matter how much I have regretted my decision or how much I have learned from the mistakes that I have made.  Of all the mistakes in life I have made, this is the worst, most severe and has cost me all my tears, anger and frustration.  Sometimes I am angry at myself for letting myself be deceived by all those slinky lies and twisted promises, for letting myself be illusioned by what is not true.  Sometimes I am angry, angry at all these serpents for twisting their words and luring me into embarking on this venomous journey which had cost me a lost portion of my life.

A wise person once told me this: "Be wary of these people, for they are clever at twisting their words and trapping you in their deception.  I know because I have dealt with many of them in my life."

I chose to ignore his advice.  But I knew deep down inside that he was right all along.

I am angry that I have let myself be cheated, pushed around like a pawn, and deceived.  I am enraged that some people can actually live a life full of deception and twisted tales they spin to trap others into the benefit of their own gain.  I am angry, but there is little I can do.  Vengeance is God's, indeed.

Once a road has been taken and there is no turning back, then there is little that can be done to go back to the past life and live it again.  There is nothing I can do, but to fix it, learn, and move on with my life.  I may not have so much luxury as to chance upon another golden opportunity as the first road again in life, but all I can do is make sure I don't make the same mistake as I did again when opportunity does come knocking.

All I want is to start afresh, leave all these lies and deception behind me, put a full stop to this chapter and turn the page.  I want to begin on a fresh new sheet of paper, with a fresh bottle of ink and a fresh new story to tell.  I want to go far, far away, start anew on my next journey and put all these unhappy events where they belong - in a chest of "Unhappy Events" all locked up and the key flung out into the bottom of the sea.

I'm washing my hands clean, never looking back again.